#Rethink: Black & White Thinking, Spiritual Abuse, and Following God
#Rethink - June 2022
Welcome! I'm glad you joined me this month as we wonder how to reject black and white thinking, contemplate healing from spiritual abuse, and question what it means to follow God.
How do we reject black and white thinking?
As I'm sure you are aware, our world is becoming increasingly polarized. The "us versus them" game is stronger than ever thanks to our social media use and the echo chambers it creates. If you don't think like me (right), then you are wrong. Those seem to be the only two options. I am continually reminded of life inside my Christian cult where there was no room for dissenting opinions or questions. This is not a healthy way of viewing the world or the people around us. It reeks of pride and self-centeredness as we refuse to see from others' perspectives. I can't help but wonder what it would take to be people who reject this black and white way of thinking.
To be people who can confidently hold our opinions while graciously listening to others share theirs?
To recognize that other perspectives are just as valuable as our own?
To be people who aren't threatened by differences but who take them as opportunities to learn, love, and grow?
I wonder what would happen if we spent more time listening than we did trying to be heard. If we actively sought the stories behind people's words. If we cared more about hearts than we did behaviors.
Instead of joining the tribal mindset that is so prevalent in our current culture, instead of embracing the readiness to go to war against opposing tribes, what if we choose to behave as humble servants? We can have opinions, and still actively love and care for those who don't agree with us. We can stand on firm beliefs, and still graciously listen to people who don't see eye to eye. It sounds radical these days because it is. It's the narrow way of grace and truth, the awkward middle way of Jesus. Will you join me in trying to find it?
"False shepherds make us lie down in submission, but true shepherds settle us down into safety."
The Lord is My Courage, by KJ Ramsey
It's hard to choose just one quote for the intro to this section. I'm only on Chapter 6 in my physical book (which finally arrived last Wednesday), and I have sections underlined on almost every page. If you have ever experienced spiritual abuse or religious trauma, or even if you are just feeling disillusioned with the church but can't explain why, this book is for you. Combining gentle Scripture, theology, psychology, and neuroscience, KJ has crafted a truly holistic book that meets every part of us where we are at.
KJ makes my experiences make sense and then she offers strategies and truth for healing and growth. There is no judgement or condemnation in this book, no Christianese formulas, just simple grace and truth offered by someone who has been there. The Lord is My Courage is more like a needed therapy session than anything else. As KJ teaches us about sheep and shepherds, and walks us through Psalm 23 phrase by phrase, she declares things like this:
"God sides with those who have been shoved around. (Ezekiel 34)."
In Jesus' flock you do not have to be shiny to be seen. He seeks out the struggling, not the strong. This is a flock where you do not have to fight to be found."
I feel so seen, so validated, and so heard just reading KJ's words. I want you to feel those things too. Seriously, go buy this book; here's the Amazon link. :-)
Following God doesn't guarantee results.
I started this communication journey almost nine years ago. I used to call it a writing journey, but it's evolved into way more than that over the years. My initial goal was to write a book. If you'd told me back then that nine years later I'd still be unpublished, I'd probably have quit for real. But now I thank God that my initial book never saw the light of day. Haha! I didn't even know who I was much less what I wanted to say.
I went to writers conferences, talked with agents and editors, even worked with a few publishing companies, but nothing ultimately happened. They wanted platform and numbers. And if you've been with me on this journey for any length of time, you know that me and platform have a love-hate relationship. Mostly hate.
We measure results differently as humans than God does. I still don't have a published book (although I do have a nearly finished manuscript), but I look at the little ministry that God has given me and I feel joy. Every month when this newsletter goes out, I watch the people who open it and I feel humbled and honored that you choose to read my words. Each of you has a story and I love that God allows me to touch it in a small way. I don't take that privilege lightly.
All this to say, I'm headed to another writers' conference in early July where I'll have the opportunity to meet with people in the publishing field. I swore I wouldn't go to this conference again, and it's a long story that I might tell next month. But God opened a door and so I'm going. Will you pray for me? Following God doesn't specific guarantee results, but I also don't want to miss anything that He is doing. Thanks, friends!
Thank you for taking a moment to #Rethink some of our religious traditions and beliefs. I know that it can be scary to deconstruct and reconstruct our faith, but finding the Real Jesus is absolutely worth it. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts, questions, or comments.
If you know someone who would love to #rethink, please share!
Either forward this email to a friend or take a screen shot for easy sharing on social media. If you share, don't forget to tag me @christylynnewood.