#Rethink - November 2021

#Rethink - November 2021

---

Welcome to the month of Thanksgiving. Let's chat about reformation, narcissism, and knowing when to speak.

Can the Church be Reformed?

Like many of you, I am still following The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill podcast with Mike Cosper. This last episode (second to the end) was a 2.5 hour doozy. Seriously, two and a half hours! It walked through the events that led up to the final fall of Mars Hill. As I listened to the stories of broken and betrayed people, I was left with three thoughts.

• Human beings cannot handle power -- it corrupts us.

• What went down at Mars Hill on a massive scale, has happened all around the country (and probably world) to greater and lesser degrees at churches and Christian organizations.

• The corporate church needs serious help.

The most disheartening part of the lengthy episode was the end of it. Spoiler Alert (although if you listened to the first episode you already know): Instead of facing accountability and repenting, Mark Driscoll claimed God spoke to him and told him that he was released from Mars Hill. Then he just skipped town and is actually now pastoring a church in Arizona. :-(

When Jesus left Earth 2000 years ago, I don't think His vision of the Church was a bunch of fancy venues run by exhausted teams of people trying to support celebrity personalities. 

I also don't think His vision was smaller buildings housing a collection of people ruled by domineering individuals focused on rules and behaviors.

• The Church was never supposed to be a place.

• It wasn't supposed to be a show we watch on Sunday.

• The Church was never intended to revolve around anyone except for Jesus.

But we've done church a certain way for so long that I don't think we understand what it originally meant anymore. We have allowed tradition, religion, and programs to replace a living organism. No wonder it's not working.

Do you know what I long for?

A diverse group of people who are excited about the fact that Jesus made a way for us to know God. People who are asking hard questions and wrestling with doubt, but are not willing to get a quick answer from human reasoning or religious tradition. I long for a community where we believe in the reality of things we don't understand, where we hold the tension of mystery and paradox, and where eternity is more real than anything we see. I don't need a fancy building, or an eloquent speaker, or fun programs. I just want deep connection with other people who love Jesus.

Is this possible?

I honestly don't know. I hoped something like this would come out of COVID, but so far if it has, I haven't seen it. But I pray for something like this, for real Church, for reformation, revival, and change. Will you join me?

"May all of us committed to this work know the freedom that comes as we step out from shadows into the light."
Chuck DeGroat, "When Narcissism Comes to Church"
 

I first read this book when it came out in 2020, but as I have been processing the Mars Hill fiasco, it came back to mind and I thought I'd share it again. If you have been through any kind of church hurt or spiritual abuse, you've probably encountered a narcissist along the way. Maybe more than one.

"When Narcissism Comes to Church" was hugely healing in my own story of spiritual abuse and I cannot recommend it highly enough. One of the parts that has been running through my head is Chapter Six: Understanding Narcissistic Systems. Some churches and organizations are run by narcissistic individuals (pastors, elders, directors, etc.), but some churches and organizations are narcissistic themselves at their core.

These narcissistic systems are harder to dismantle because they are built around a feeling of grandeur and an attitude of supremacy. We are better than everyone else. We have the answers. We are special. There isn't one person to put the blame on because the narcissistic heart has infected everyone.

If we are going to reform the Church, understanding the role narcissism plays is vital.

Knowing When to Speak and When to Stay Silent

I am a talker. I am also a passionate person never lacking in enthusiasm. This has gotten me in trouble more than once. People have asked me on multiple occasions why I am mad about something when I'm not mad at all, just intense. I enjoy communicating. I love sharing what I see as truth. But I am finally learning (in my 40s) when to stay silent. 

There are many battles that we could engage in every day, both on-line and in person. I used to think that it was important to engage. But I am learning to be quiet, to ask questions, to hear perspective and beliefs before sharing my own, 

I am learning that there are times to talk and times to avoid talking. This is a big deal for me if you knew me in real life! Not every conversation is worth having, not every argument is worth starting, not everyone will understand my point of view.

In a world that is increasingly black and white about every topic under the sun, the ability to listen and learn, ask questions, and ponder a both/and scenario is rare and needed. I'm trying! How about you?

---

Thanks for taking a moment to #Rethink some of our religious traditions and beliefs. I know that it can be scary to deconstruct and reconstruct our faith, but finding the Real Jesus is absolutely worth it. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts, questions, or comments.

If you know someone who would love to #rethink, please share!
 
Either forward this email to a friend or take a screen shot for easy sharing on social media. If you share, don't forget to tag me @christylynnewood.