Beginning to reconstruct our faith.
Deconstruction is important, but reconstruction is just as important. Faith reconstruction starts with the core foundations of our hearts. What do I believe about God, myself, and this world?
As I was preparing to write, I found this blog post from 2017 and decided to tweak it a bit and send it out. Sometimes things from 5 years ago are just as relevant today. :-)
A couple of weeks ago I was writing in my journal — wrestling through the way we view our relationship with God.
“We don’t understand that it’s not about being good and doing the right things…it’s about knowing Jesus. Ha! It’s like we aren’t even playing the same game as You, God. We’re playing Jenga, but You’re playing Hide-n-Seek..”
We are playing Jenga, but God is playing Hide-n-Seek
I’m so tired of the way performance based thinking has hijacked Christianity! It’s not just people like me, raised in a Christian cult with extreme legalism…it’s spread throughout the whole church. There we are, trying to build our Jenga towers, poking out blocks and stacking them on top, carefully balancing all of the good things that we are supposed to do, hoping that everyone, God included, is noticing. When everything stacks up, we feel satisfied, proud and accomplished. But when life falls apart, when we lose control, when we screw it all up, we feel guilt and shame. Surely God is disappointed in us.
I’ve got good news for us. God does not care about our Jenga blocks! He doesn’t care when we stack them impressively tall and He doesn’t care when they fall over. Because, God isn’t playing Jenga with us.
God is playing Hide-n-Seek.
Have you ever played Hide-n-Seek with a toddler? They can’t even count to 10 so it becomes this wild race to beat them to the hiding spot. I remember putting my kids in the kitchen nook and then dashing for a spot behind the bedroom door before they saw me. You have to remind the little one that you are hiding and give them a hint as to which room you might be in. So, you call, “Come find me. Where am I?” You aren’t really trying to hide, you’re trying to be found.
Guess what? We are the toddlers and God wants to play Hide-n-Seek. He wants us to find Him!
“‘You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you.’ declares the LORD…”
Jeremiah 29:13-14
Here’s a crazy thought.
What if it’s not about us being and doing right or wrong anymore? What if it never was?
Don’t freak out and think that I’m saying we should go and sin as much as we can because it doesn’t matter. I’m not saying that…that wouldn’t be knowing Jesus either. But I am saying that we have to stop our attempts at perfection.
We have to stop playing Jenga. Better yet, let those blocks fall. The sooner we realize that it’s okay to be a mess and not have it all together, the better off we will be! Just push them off the table. Enough.
God wants to take you on heart adventures that you can’t even imagine. He wants to heal the hidden brokenness that you can’t even talk about. Jesus wants to set you free and make you so alive you can’t even handle it. But this will only happen if we stop performing and start seeking. It can only happen when we really find Jesus. This is the key to reconstructing our faith. Have we met Jesus? Without Him it’s just a behavior based religion.
I say this all the time, but I absolutely believe it. When we begin to know God, we will be changed. But it’s Jesus changing us from the inside out, not a surface display of outward perfection. He changes our hearts and our actions follow — not because they have to but because we want them to. We want to be like Jesus, and our selfishness and sin no longer satisfy.
So, what do we do? How do we stop playing Jenga and start playing Hide-n-Seek? It might look like this:
Let your blocks fall and then shove them off the table. Stop trying to be good; stop defending yourself; stop making excuses. Accept your own brokenness.
Choose to believe in God’s crazy love for you, in His delight of you, in his never ending grace and forgiveness, even thought it makes absolutely no sense.
Start seeking. He’s calling you. Hebrews 1:3 tells us that Jesus is the exact image of God the Father, so maybe start there. Dig through the gospels and get to know Jesus.
I don’t know about you, but I’m awfully tired of Jenga. I’m tired of the pressure and stress, trying to get it right and always failing. I want to laugh, and giggle, and run around with my Daddy God instead.
I choose Hide-n-Seek.
“that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward Him and find Him. Yet He is actually not far from each one of us…”
Acts 17:27
How’s that for beautiful truth? God isn’t done, friends. No matter what pain, heartache, or discouragement you are going through, God isn’t done. And more than anything else, He wants you and your heart to know His. God’s love is endless and He will never let you go.