#Rethink: Doubt, Rebellion, and the Beauty of Hope
Join me as we question the fear of doubt, ponder a religious rebellion, and explore the beauty of hope.
#Rethink - December 2022
It’s December and Christmas is almost here! This month we are questioning the fear and condemnation heaped on many people who doubt and deconstruct their faith, pondering a religious rebellion, and exploring the beauty of hope in the body of Christ.
Why are Many in the Church so Quick to Condemn Doubt and Deconstruction?
I almost wrote a rant the other day on my blog about this topic. But I couldn’t quite find the time. It’s probably for the best. Hopefully my words will be kinder and better thought out after some contemplation. In the course of a week I heard two more evangelical leaders in a position of influence—one was a writer and the other a pastor—condemning the deconstruction movement.
They expressed the same fear that I once felt: frustration over people leaving the faith. I wanted to scream, or blog, or something, but instead I just talked loudly to the Holy Spirit. My conversation with Him went something like this:
“If people who hold to a historically orthodox theology keep condemning people who are doubting and questioning, they shouldn’t be upset when those same people turn to progressive, agnostic, or atheist beliefs.
Why would they seek answers from places where they feel judged? Why would they ask questions to people who condemn them? They literally don’t have another option!
When people begin to take apart their faith, they are welcomed with open arms on one side and rejected on the other. Is it any wonder that many of them end up rejecting orthodox theology?
What is wrong with these people? Are they afraid of questions? Are they afraid to confront their own questions? It feels like fear.”
It does indeed feel like fear. I know I was afraid when I first began my latest deconstruction journey. It was scary to take apart things that felt secure. But I wanted to be standing on truth not just man-made tradition, so I went for it.
I don’t know how to combat this intense fear among so many evangelicals. So I guess I’ll just try and keep being a voice that reminds you all that you can doubt and deconstruct and still land in a place that embraces the creeds of the faith while trashing all the junk we’ve collected along the way. Which leads me to the next topic.
A Religious Rebellion
This is actually about something I’m writing not something I’ve read, but it’s close enough. I started this book almost ten years ago. It’s been a PROCESS, you guys. Good grief. If I’d known how long it would take or the journey I’d go on before it was over, I’m not sure I would have started. But I’m glad I did!
I’m about two-and-a-half chapters away from having the whole thing written. (Don’t get too excited. I’ve only written half a chapter in the last year.) My goal was to finish it during Christmas break. That’s still the goal, but now I’m actually reworking it so it might take a bit longer.
Originally my book was called Impostor Jesus: Rejecting Religion in a Search for the Real God. Chapters were organized around topics and interwoven with pieces of my story. Basically things I was questioning both in my cult and in the mainstream church. The premise of my book is still the same, but I’m renaming, reorganizing, and rewriting a ton of it.
The new working title is Religious Rebel. I was labeled a rebel in my cult days for questioning all of the fake standards and beliefs we followed. I’m still a rebel these days because I refuse to take a side but instead want to follow Jesus in the awkward middle place of grace and truth. The book is for all the religious rebels who just want Jesus.
I’ve got a fun title, but I need a good tagline. This is where you all come in! I have a short, one question survey that I’d love for you to take and either vote on one of three taglines that I created or give me an idea for a new one. Will you help me?
Thanks, friends! I can’t wait to hear your thoughts! And I appreciate all your prayers as I try and write during this break from school. :-) We will see where Jesus takes this book next.
The Beauty of Hope
I had someone ask me the other day if I’m still in church. It’s a good question. I’ve been at a lot of churches over the years. Some bad ones, some meh ones, one really great one, and one that I haven’t been at long enough to determine much about. Yes, I’m still in church.
I’ll be honest, after the things I’ve experienced in the last ten years, church makes me hesitant. I’m a bit cynical. People are quick to say that no church is perfect. And then they say that if you find a perfect church you should leave because you aren’t perfect, or something like that. We say dumb things sometimes as Christians.
Church can be messy. And as it becomes more of a power structure or corporation it can get dangerous because it attracts people in leadership who love power more than service. But I’m still in church.
And I have hope that the place I’m at right now, while not perfect, might be safe. Because Gloria is free to pull her tambourine out of her purse and play it during worship. Because there is more than one older man with a long ponytail serving coffee or welcoming me at the door. Because the pastor takes the time to talk about context, culture, and history as he teaches Scripture. But we will see. You can feel cynicism and hope at the same time. That’s the beauty of hope.
And my hope is ultimately in Jesus and His body the church, not in the systems or programs we create. Church is my new bi-monthly prayer group with random women from the Grand Rapids area. It’s the breakfast I had with a new friend where we witnessed each other’s spiritual abuse. It’s more than a building, or a denomination, or a pastor. It’s anytime the body of Christ connects with each other and with Him. And that gives me hope.
Thanks for taking a moment to #Rethink some of our religious traditions and beliefs. I know that it can be scary to deconstruct and reconstruct our faith, but finding the Real Jesus is absolutely worth it. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts, questions, or comments.
I'm enjoying my Advent study but one section bothered me, where the writer equated the apostasy (those who went out from us but we're not of us) in 1 John to deconstruction. While some do and will leave the faith, it's frustrating that people make it so black and white, leaving no room for this, indeed, holy spirit led shedding of extra biblical stuff to get back to the real Jesus (or meet him for the first time). And I agree that this is out of fear and a way to keep others from going down the same road. I edited that part of the study and kept it moving.