Rethinking Faith: Cultic Christianity, My Favorite Books on Spiritual Abuse, and Living Our One Beautiful Life
This month let's question the influence of cultic Christianity, explore some of my favorite books on spiritual abuse, and ponder ways to fully live our one and beautiful life.
Rethinking Faith: March 2024
Welcome to the March issue of Rethinking Faith. This month we will question the rising influence of cultic Christianity, explore some of my favorite books on spiritual abuse, and ponder ways to fully live this one and beautiful life we have been given.
The Rise of Cultic Christianity in Politics
It was the baby voice that stopped me in my tracks. I was listening to an old clip from an interview that Speaker of the House Mike Johnson gave with his wife Kelly. As Kelly began to speak, I had a visceral reaction in my body. She sounded exactly like Michelle Duggar. And the many women I grew up with in my cultic Christian church who were trying to only be gentle and sweet.
Is this just a southern woman thing? I don’t know. I don’t live in the south. Kelly Johnson does work outside the home, so there are some points in her favor there. But watching the interactions between the Johnsons on the interview, something felt off—something felt familiar.
Friends, I have tried for the past eight years plus not to be political in my writing. I just want to focus on Jesus and help people to explore their relationship with Him. I don’t fit into a political side and I knew that by saying anything I would make someone feel frustrated or angry. I didn’t want to lose anyone in my audience who needs to hear truth about Jesus because of politics. But I’m struggling to be quiet any more.
Somehow, the cultic Christians of my past—that I naively assumed disappeared when I got out—have found enough strength to take power politically. This is a terrifying thought.
And if you’ve never lived like I did, within the control, manipulation, and fear of fundamental, cultic Christianity, then you can’t fully understand why this is a problem. Kristen Dumez wrote a Substack this week exposing some of the significant issues within the Christian Nationalist movement. It’s worth a read.
There are people in politics who want to use the law to force their version of morality on our nation. They genuinely believe that America should be a “Christian” nation and are willing to do whatever it takes to make this happen. The problem is that their version of Christianity doesn’t match with a gospel of grace or the person of Jesus Christ.
I know because I spent a decade living with them.
We cannot force people to be godly. We cannot make people good with laws. Morality does not guarantee a right standing with God. There are many moral, religious people who do not know freedom in Jesus. Read the book of Galatians.
“Now it is clear no one is justified before God by the law…” Gal 3:11
I’m honestly not sure that some of these Christian Nationalists understand the true gospel or what it means to know Jesus and be justified by faith.
They are pedaling a false Christianity, but because they use familiar words (like we did just with different definitions), they are convincing people that they are correct. I lived it for ten years and I know that it is wrong.
I don’t want to get emotionally caught up in politics. I want to be involved but not obsessed. I want to focus on my own little life and sphere of influence where I can actually create change. But I also want to be aware. I want my eyes to be open to what is happening around me. And I want your eyes to be open too.
My Favorite Books on Spiritual Abuse
Two weeks ago I shared our more recent story of spiritual abuse publicly for the first time. Many of you reached out with sympathy, support, and your own stories of spiritual abuse within Christian churches and organizations. It was validating and also devastating to see that I am very much not alone.
With that in mind, today I’m sharing my favorite books on spiritual abuse and why I recommend them. If you have other books that you think would be beneficial or that encouraged you, please let me know.
The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, by David Johnson and Jeff Van Vonderen
This was the first book I ever read on spiritual abuse. Reading it opened my eyes, not only to the things I’d recently been through, but also to the abuse of my decade in Gothard’s cult. It gave me words for my experiences. Although it was written in 1991, the topics are still incredibly current and needed. It didn’t feel like a book written thirty years ago and was incredibly validating to my confused and broken heart.
When Narcissism Comes to Church, by Chuck DeGroat
Dealing specifically with the epidemic of narcissistic leaders within the church, Chuck DeGroat uses his own story as well as his experience counseling both narcissists and their victims to shed light and speak truth. I saw my situation clearly within the pages of this book which was encouraging and healing. I especially appreciate that DeGroat exposes the problem, but also provides potential solutions. He is honest but hopeful.
Celebrities for Jesus, by Katelyn Beaty
Taking a different twist, Katelyn Beaty looks at the ways evangelical church culture platforms people with charisma but not always character. She explores possible reasons we keep seeing similar abusive situations unfold within the church. I found this book fascinating and necessary to the conversation surrounding spiritual abuse. There are things that need to change so the abuse does not continue. There are ways we can avoid putting narcissists in charge of churches.
Bully Pulpit, by Michael J. Kruger
Written by a church leader for church leaders, Michael Kruger is able to share truth about the problem of spiritual abuse from a different perspective. He works to explain why churches allow abuse to continue and then demonstrates how this can change. It felt quite similar in the beginning of the book to other books I’d read, but I really appreciated his perspective and words in the middle and end. If it was the first book you’d ever read on spiritual abuse, it would feel absolutely life changing.
I’m glad that we are talking about spiritual abuse and becoming more aware of spiritual abuse. But I really wish that churches would take better action to stop abusive leaders. I hate that I keep hearing stories from the same churches where things are not changing. This is not okay.
Just yesterday I learned of a story where the same church has “let go” of five pastors in the same horrible way within the past few years—each time tying severance to an NDA. The person who told me had experienced it themselves and was now trying to help the most recent pastor and his family. This breaks my heart and fills me with righteous anger. I recommended they reach out to Julie Roys. Sometimes the only way to stop something is to go public.
Fully Living this One and Beautiful Life
Do you ever find yourself wishing for a different life? Wondering what would have happened if you’d made a different decision? Contemplating the other path you could have taken? Just wanting things to change?
I’ve spent good portions of my life longing for change instead of fully living the life I have. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some truly challenging seasons where I needed change. But those weren’t usually the times I felt discontent. Usually that was when I was clinging desperately to Jesus.
There are always going to be pieces of our life that feel broken and out of place because we live in a world that has been corrupted by sin. But there is beauty in the brokenness. I’m currently in a season where I am trying to fully live my one and beautiful life.
I’ve spent years trying to be known. Trying to build a platform and end up with a book contract. Attempting to build something that always felt out of reach. Something that wasn’t quite real.
I’m still writing. I’m still podcasting. I’m still on social media. But this isn’t my identity. Instead I’m leaning into the real people in my life. I’m learning to embrace my passions and recognize and use my giftings.
I love investing in and building relationships with young adults.
I’m really good at working with troubled children.
I have a need to speak truth.
I can do these things and stay ordinary and obscure. I don’t need to seek fame, just faithfulness. I can be content with my real and good life. Focusing on this has made my long and cloudy winter season in Michigan much more bearable this year. It’s actually been a good winter/early spring.
Who are you? What are your passions and giftings? How are you leaning into them and using them in your one and beautiful life?
As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts, questions, or comments. You can find me on Threads, Instagram, Facebook, my website, and on my podcast Looking for the Real God. I’d love to connect with you on any of these places!
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'The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse' saved my life, my faith, my sanity. One thing I've learned over the years is that when one has been hurt by a church, the next church you go to may keep you at arms length as though your pain and betrayal is contagious and sinful, as though you are the problem. But through it all, it has drawn me closer to God.
This is a great post. I have similar concerns. I currently minister in two contexts--one quite politically progressive, and one worryingly politically conservative. I'm probably neither. I agree that I think a lot of people from what you call "cultic Christianity" have not really wrestled with what following Jesus actually means. Apart from the injunction from God to love His people (which He had to give me Himself because I was struggling). the way I've found to shepherd both groups is an awareness of stages of faith. I wonder if my course on such would be of interest or help for you. Please feel free to message me if you want to ask question about it. https://the-pilgrimage.org/home-2/get-connected/the-walk/