For years, I've felt like we're living in the Twilight Zone. I've tried and tried to make sense of what is happening.
I'm currently reading Brene Brown's book, Atlas of the Heart. In chapter 5, Brene talks about cognitive dissonance and Leon Festinger's 1950's cult research. This was eye opening and gave me a glimpse into how our minds can work to avoid living in the tension of the unknown or unclear.
Festinger accurately predicted what would happen when a specific cult leader's "aliens will come and take us away at midnight before the end of the world" prediction didn't come to fruition. Those strongly committed to this as truth (as in selling or giving away all their possessions) "doubled down" on trust in their prophet and increased proselytizing efforts rather than admit that she had been wrong.
Quotes from Atlas of the Heart:
"The engine that drives self-justification, the energy that produces the need to justify our actions and decisions—especially the wrong ones—is the unpleasant feeling that Festinger called “cognitive dissonance."
"Cognitive dissonance is a state of tension that occurs when a person holds two cognitions (ideas, attitudes, beliefs, opinions) that are psychologically inconsistent with each other, such as “Smoking is a dumb thing to do because it could kill me” and “I smoke two packs a day.”
"“My favorite book on cognitive dissonance is Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson.”
This is such a thoughtful articulation of what has been happening in the church over the last 40 years. I am distressed by the number of people in my church who have been influenced by these things & yet seem oblivious to how un-Biblical these ideas are. Even in churches (like my own) where these ideas are not being preached from the pulpit,there is a failure to directly confront them for fear of causing conflict. Thank you for having the courage to speak up.
There does seem to be a fear of confronting lies within the church. It’s like we don’t want to be critical of anyone who is “part of the body of Christ.” But we forget about all of Jesus’ and Paul’s warnings about wolves and false teachers! All of those lies and twisted truths are still out there! Shoot, the religious leaders of Jesus’ day missed him. Nothing has changed. We desperately need prophets who will speak truth. As for me, I find I can’t keep silent these days. Thanks for the encouragement. 💕
Yeah, I'm commenting after only reading the opening paragraph, but this worship of Trump and the refusal to reflect or have any humility and examine the fruits of their actions is the reason I won't go to church anymore. People are supposed to be following Jesus, but the fruits of their beliefs, the outflow of their hearts, is Hispanic immigrants being rounded up and sent to a prison in another country. They refuse to admit that they're wrong and are incapable of reflection. The whole tree is rotted from the roots, it needs to be cut down.
I miss church, I miss that community, I miss the encouragement, but I can't go. The fruits are the opposite of what they should be.
#4 is such a needed conversation. I believe the suppression/oppression of women in the “organized” church is a huge part of its crumbling. That, and elevating one man behind a pulpit and minimizing or outright ignoring the other 4 ministries.
As a cult survivor myself, I came to realize that there are phases that one goes through between entry and exit. Perhaps I will develop that idea a little more and post about it, but the exit is preceded by a realization that things are not right, an inability to ignore what you are seeing and an escalation into the realm of the intolerable, to the point where you are willing to leave.
No one wakes up one day and says, “today I shall join a cult“. If you are not born into it, then there is some initial attractive feature that gets you through the door. This begins a honeymoon period, followed by a slow burn where you can be enthusiastically supportive and “all in“ on the doctrine. Then something happens, or perhaps a series of “somethings” which creates a cognitive dissonance that intensifies over time. Though cults condition people to embrace ideas and behavior that would be considered abhorrent outside of that environment, sooner or later there is a threshold in which warning lights within you begin to signal that things are not right.
Perhaps it is a significant traumatic event or perhaps it is the combination of years of mistreatment. It could be something that happened to someone else that you have witnessed. Perhaps it is a glimpse outside of the cult, followed by the realization that you were always told that the people outside were the ones who were messed up and yet they are doing just fine. Your life on the other hand seems to be spiraling. That’s when the lights give way to warning horns, at least on my experience. Cults redefine the concept and perception of truth but at the end of the day, they cannot redefine truth. They can only try to deny it.
The current administration and the forces that shape and drive it are not hard to understand when you have experienced the cycle of a cult. Not hard at all. For that matter, the current institutional evangelical church is inexorably complicit in it. Perhaps there’s room for a point number 9, the evangelical Church needs to divorce itself from the corporate structure and mentality, as it has failed to differentiate between a family of God and a corporation where power and profit become the highest goal.
This is so true! The awesome Ally Henny has a great podcast on her experience in cultic churches and she said "no one joins a cult, they join a good thing". As in the cult presents itself as a true community when it's just a cult, a false sense of community.
Her podcast is called "High Control" BTW!
For me the sign to leave my cult was the unbearable anxiety and depression that was stemming from my undiagnosed ocd. Cults are attractive to some people with ocd because we are prone to magical thinking. So much could be said about cults and churches!
"Perhaps there’s room for a point number 9, the evangelical Church needs to divorce itself from the corporate structure and mentality, as it has failed to differentiate between a family of God and a corporation where power and profit become the highest goal." Oh, this. 100%. And perhaps a slight addendum: "And the church has failed to differentiate between worship and entertainment—the glory of God vs. the glory of man."
Well, I was in it for quite awhile: I sang on a praise team. It gets very hard to differentiate what's going on, emotionally--both in the church and inside one's own heart. Only after I left did I really see what was happening.
Your former cult background gives you a great perspective on spotting the same tendencies in American society. It doesn't necessarily mean you can do much about it, but your knowledge may still be useful. Even just publishing stuff like this helps get the word out. Have you read 'The Cult of Trump' by Dr. Steven Hassan? It was written during Trump 1 but it still applies today, even more so.
So you are deep into an Esther moment of your own - all the pain of the cult and getting out and recovery and finding your voice, etc - is now refined. I am so grateful for leaders like you right now. 🔥
😭 It’s so sad and frustrating. But also, I’m encouraged by all the people I’ve met (such as yourself) who are waking up and speaking truth! Thank you for adding your voice and experience.
Thank you for this post. Lord have mercy!
For years, I've felt like we're living in the Twilight Zone. I've tried and tried to make sense of what is happening.
I'm currently reading Brene Brown's book, Atlas of the Heart. In chapter 5, Brene talks about cognitive dissonance and Leon Festinger's 1950's cult research. This was eye opening and gave me a glimpse into how our minds can work to avoid living in the tension of the unknown or unclear.
Festinger accurately predicted what would happen when a specific cult leader's "aliens will come and take us away at midnight before the end of the world" prediction didn't come to fruition. Those strongly committed to this as truth (as in selling or giving away all their possessions) "doubled down" on trust in their prophet and increased proselytizing efforts rather than admit that she had been wrong.
Quotes from Atlas of the Heart:
"The engine that drives self-justification, the energy that produces the need to justify our actions and decisions—especially the wrong ones—is the unpleasant feeling that Festinger called “cognitive dissonance."
"Cognitive dissonance is a state of tension that occurs when a person holds two cognitions (ideas, attitudes, beliefs, opinions) that are psychologically inconsistent with each other, such as “Smoking is a dumb thing to do because it could kill me” and “I smoke two packs a day.”
"“My favorite book on cognitive dissonance is Mistakes Were Made (but Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson.”
Thanks for these resources!!
This is such a thoughtful articulation of what has been happening in the church over the last 40 years. I am distressed by the number of people in my church who have been influenced by these things & yet seem oblivious to how un-Biblical these ideas are. Even in churches (like my own) where these ideas are not being preached from the pulpit,there is a failure to directly confront them for fear of causing conflict. Thank you for having the courage to speak up.
There does seem to be a fear of confronting lies within the church. It’s like we don’t want to be critical of anyone who is “part of the body of Christ.” But we forget about all of Jesus’ and Paul’s warnings about wolves and false teachers! All of those lies and twisted truths are still out there! Shoot, the religious leaders of Jesus’ day missed him. Nothing has changed. We desperately need prophets who will speak truth. As for me, I find I can’t keep silent these days. Thanks for the encouragement. 💕
Yeah, I'm commenting after only reading the opening paragraph, but this worship of Trump and the refusal to reflect or have any humility and examine the fruits of their actions is the reason I won't go to church anymore. People are supposed to be following Jesus, but the fruits of their beliefs, the outflow of their hearts, is Hispanic immigrants being rounded up and sent to a prison in another country. They refuse to admit that they're wrong and are incapable of reflection. The whole tree is rotted from the roots, it needs to be cut down.
I miss church, I miss that community, I miss the encouragement, but I can't go. The fruits are the opposite of what they should be.
#4 is such a needed conversation. I believe the suppression/oppression of women in the “organized” church is a huge part of its crumbling. That, and elevating one man behind a pulpit and minimizing or outright ignoring the other 4 ministries.
Absolutely!
As a cult survivor myself, I came to realize that there are phases that one goes through between entry and exit. Perhaps I will develop that idea a little more and post about it, but the exit is preceded by a realization that things are not right, an inability to ignore what you are seeing and an escalation into the realm of the intolerable, to the point where you are willing to leave.
No one wakes up one day and says, “today I shall join a cult“. If you are not born into it, then there is some initial attractive feature that gets you through the door. This begins a honeymoon period, followed by a slow burn where you can be enthusiastically supportive and “all in“ on the doctrine. Then something happens, or perhaps a series of “somethings” which creates a cognitive dissonance that intensifies over time. Though cults condition people to embrace ideas and behavior that would be considered abhorrent outside of that environment, sooner or later there is a threshold in which warning lights within you begin to signal that things are not right.
Perhaps it is a significant traumatic event or perhaps it is the combination of years of mistreatment. It could be something that happened to someone else that you have witnessed. Perhaps it is a glimpse outside of the cult, followed by the realization that you were always told that the people outside were the ones who were messed up and yet they are doing just fine. Your life on the other hand seems to be spiraling. That’s when the lights give way to warning horns, at least on my experience. Cults redefine the concept and perception of truth but at the end of the day, they cannot redefine truth. They can only try to deny it.
The current administration and the forces that shape and drive it are not hard to understand when you have experienced the cycle of a cult. Not hard at all. For that matter, the current institutional evangelical church is inexorably complicit in it. Perhaps there’s room for a point number 9, the evangelical Church needs to divorce itself from the corporate structure and mentality, as it has failed to differentiate between a family of God and a corporation where power and profit become the highest goal.
Jim K.
This is so true! The awesome Ally Henny has a great podcast on her experience in cultic churches and she said "no one joins a cult, they join a good thing". As in the cult presents itself as a true community when it's just a cult, a false sense of community.
Her podcast is called "High Control" BTW!
For me the sign to leave my cult was the unbearable anxiety and depression that was stemming from my undiagnosed ocd. Cults are attractive to some people with ocd because we are prone to magical thinking. So much could be said about cults and churches!
Yes! Thanks for the podcast recommendation!
"Perhaps there’s room for a point number 9, the evangelical Church needs to divorce itself from the corporate structure and mentality, as it has failed to differentiate between a family of God and a corporation where power and profit become the highest goal." Oh, this. 100%. And perhaps a slight addendum: "And the church has failed to differentiate between worship and entertainment—the glory of God vs. the glory of man."
Totally!! The corporate mindset is SO evident and also harmful. 😭 And the “entertainment industry” is right up there too. Thanks for bringing this up.
Well, I was in it for quite awhile: I sang on a praise team. It gets very hard to differentiate what's going on, emotionally--both in the church and inside one's own heart. Only after I left did I really see what was happening.
Your former cult background gives you a great perspective on spotting the same tendencies in American society. It doesn't necessarily mean you can do much about it, but your knowledge may still be useful. Even just publishing stuff like this helps get the word out. Have you read 'The Cult of Trump' by Dr. Steven Hassan? It was written during Trump 1 but it still applies today, even more so.
I haven’t read it but it sounds interesting. And yes, I’d say that this time things are even more cult like. 😬
This is so good - I am ready to get rowdy and shout with you, too. I am furious…..and I have been for a while so it is getting ripe.
It's literally like all of the bad ideas and hidden agendas from my cult days are now on full display. Yikes!!!
So you are deep into an Esther moment of your own - all the pain of the cult and getting out and recovery and finding your voice, etc - is now refined. I am so grateful for leaders like you right now. 🔥
It’s a bit surreal. I’ve been writing for years and my story seemed extreme to people. It’s suddenly incredibly relevant. 😬😳
These eight points are so true. Well done. This is an honest and insightful portrayal of how we got here.
😭 It’s so sad and frustrating. But also, I’m encouraged by all the people I’ve met (such as yourself) who are waking up and speaking truth! Thank you for adding your voice and experience.