Lies that Keep Us Silent Pt. 1
And truth that sets our voices free
If you have been following any of the Christian culture news lately, you know it’s been a wild ride the last couple of weeks. Sean Feucht, musician, former Bethel Church worship leader, and founder of multiple ministries with ties to the New Apostolic Reformation, has been accused by former employees of abusive leadership and mismanagement of millions in ministry revenue. Michael Tait, the former front-man for Newsboys and DC Talk, was accused of and has admitted to using and abusing drugs and alcohol as well as sexually assaulting multiple young men over two decades. Jennifer Lyell, a key advocate in—and victim of—the SBC sexual abuse crisis, died after suffering a series of strokes; she was only forty-seven years old.
These are just the latest headlines highlighting the abusive leadership disaster that has unfolded within the American evangelical complex in recent years. Reporters and advocates like Julie Roys and her Roys Report have helped to expose many of these stories. Sadly, I guarantee that for every pastor, leader, or professor who makes the news, there are many more quietly continuing to use and abuse behind the scenes. Why does this cycle keep happening? How are these people allowed to remain celebrities and leaders for so long? What do we do to stop the epidemic of abuse? These are not easy questions to answer.
The abuse in our evangelical church was heating up and spilling over when I first went to therapy with Miriam. Sent by our senior pastor because I was “such a mess,” I spilled my whole story to her. After speaking five reassuring words, “Christy, you have been hurt,” Miriam reminded me that not everyone who goes to seminary wants to shepherd. “Some want power,” she said. “Some are charismatic speakers. Some want fame.” Chuck DeGroat echoes these sentiments in his excellent book, When Narcissism Comes to Church.
If they are going to retain their positions of power, fame, and prosperity, then abusive pastors, professors, and other Christian leaders need to keep those of us who know the truth quiet. One of the ways they mute our voices is through spiritual sounding lies. We believe them, and our silence keeps these hired hands and false teachers in power.
But even if we believe the truth, expose the lies, and are brave enough to say something, will anything actually change? Or will our truth-telling only ruin our own lives while the abusers continue to live free? I don’t know. It’s possible, but I can’t sit still and do nothing. If enough of us move together, maybe we can make waves of change—at least in our local communities.
One summer afternoon at the beach, I was attacked by a group of first graders. As a twenty-something camp counselor, I could have easily evaded one first grader, probably even two or three of them, but I was powerless against a group of ten or more. They surrounded me and grabbed, pushed, and pulled together. Before I knew it, I was in the lake with a horde of children on top of me.
So possibly, working together and believing the truth, we can do something that none of us could do alone. But first we need to expose the lies.
There are some spectacularly brilliant lies within Christianese culture that keep people silent. They sound true. They appear to be biblical. You can even point to Bible verses and claim that they are in scripture. But when we look into context, culture, and original intent, the lies fall apart and the truth is revealed. I will share the first of three lies with you this week. We will finish the last two next week and then conclude by looking at an often avoided passage of scripture that will empower us to use our truth-filled voices.
Lie #1 “We can’t trust our hearts because they are deceitful.”
This idea comes from a couple of places in scripture, particularly Jeremiah 17:9 and also Proverbs 3:5 and Proverbs 28:26. As we begin to dive into these verses, I’d like to remind you that the Bible is an ancient collection of books, and it was written thousands of years ago in a different language and to people of a completely different culture and experience. If we take a verse, read it simply in our English translations, and isolate it from the verses and chapters around it, we can end up believing some pretty crazy things. ( I know; I was in a Christian cult.) Here is Jeremiah 17:9, by itself, in the King James Version.
"“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”
Initially, it seems pretty clear that our hearts are deceitful and wicked and we shouldn’t trust them. Let’s look at a couple of other translations, first the NIV, then the ESV, and finally the NET.
“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”
“The human mind is more deceitful than anything else. It is incurably bad. Who can understand it?”
At first glance, I could see where people get the idea that we shouldn’t be listening to our hearts because they are deceitful, desperately sick, beyond cure, and incurably bad. But, the “who can understand it” part makes me pause and wonder a bit. Still, if we take this verse alone and compare it to the ideas within Proverbs 3:5 and 28:26, I can see where we could believe that we cannot trust our hearts.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding Proverbs 3:5 (ESV).
Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered Proverbs 28:26 (ESV).
The problem with this teaching is that it encourages people to turn off their own natural intuition, ignore red flags, discount their emotions, and sometimes even reject the Holy Spirit’s guidance. Why would someone want us to do that? If you couple this idea with “worm theology” or the idea that we are totally depraved and that there is nothing good within us, and connect that with belief in unwavering obedience to authority, you can see where people would stay silent even in situations of abuse.
The problem is, that is not what Jeremiah 17:9 is saying. In fact, it’s not even close. To fully understand, we need to back up and read the verses around it.
“This is what the Lord says:
“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who draws strength from mere flesh
and whose heart turns away from the Lord.
6 That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;
they will not see prosperity when it comes.
They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.
7 “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
8 They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”
9 The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?
10 “I the Lord search the heart
and examine the mind,
to reward each person according to their conduct,
according to what their deeds deserve.”
This section of scripture is like a sandwich with two opposite thoughts on either side. One side is what someone looks like who is trusting merely in human strength and knowledge. The other side is what someone looks like who is trusting in the Lord’s wisdom. After this comparison, the section then ends with a question and an answer. Who can understand this broken, deceitful human heart? The answer: the Lord can! He searches, examines, and sees what is really going on inside of our hearts.
The verses in Proverbs (which is a book of wisdom—meaning a list of generally true thoughts) are similar. In Proverbs 3:5, the phrase “own understanding” is also translated as mere human wisdom. It is then contrasted by the truth of trusting in the Lord and acknowledging his ways. The phrase “trusts in his own mind” in Proverbs 28:16 contains the idea of self-reliant arrogance and a refusal to listen to others’ counsel. It is contrasted with people who “walk in wisdom” or walk with the wise.
These verses are not telling us to ignore red flags, minimize our natural intuition, or discount our emotions. They are simply saying not to be over reliant on our own point of view. We should listen to others’ wise counsel, be attentive to and trust in God’s wisdom, and not assume that we know everything on our own. (Sounds like something these abusive leaders could benefit from putting into practice.)
There is also another important truth that we need to acknowledge in this debate about being able to trust our hearts. If we have chosen to believe in Jesus as Savior, then we have his very Spirit dwelling within us. The Spirit whispers to our hearts and gives us wisdom, discernment, and understanding. Jesus told his disciples in John 14:26 that the Spirit would teach them.
“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.”
People who want us to stop trusting our hearts seem to conveniently forget this fact. And while we have all been mangled by sin in this broken world, there is also goodness within our hearts because we have been made in the image of God. I seriously think that people who love power often minimize or ignore this truth because it makes us easier to control.
There is a range of nuance and complexity to be considered as we contemplate our hearts. It’s not one of two dualistic options. We aren’t choosing between always trusting our own feelings and ideas (that would be trusting in mere human wisdom), or never trusting our hearts because they are wicked and deceitful. We are approaching situations with openness, honoring our hesitations, red flags, and feelings of discomfort, and also listening to wise counsel from others and seeking the wisdom of God.
Finally, if we have been taught to ignore our red flags and natural intuition, and suppress our emotions, it will take a while for us to get to the place where we can hear and trust them again. Trauma can complicate things and make emotions bigger or less connected. But emotions are not sin. They are a gift from God and part of what makes us like him. Learning to listen to them, and dig deeper to find out what they are telling us, is an important part of our healing journey.
I’m going to link to a story from
. She has been diving into The Circuit Riders which is an off shoot ministry of YWAM. This story of Faith’s experience is a perfect example of someone who chose to listen to their heart and get out of a dangerous situation even when people were using scripture and spiritual language to try and control her.
Next week we will look at two more lies and truth that combats them. I hope these truths will give us courage to use our voices and speak up against false teachers and abusive leaders. Read part two below.
As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts, questions, or comments. You can find me on Threads, Instagram, Facebook, in the Substack app, and on my website. I’d love to connect with you on any of these places!
My podcasts, Religious Rebels and Looking for the Real God can be found here on Substack, and on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeart Radio, and anywhere you listen to podcasts.
You can order an autographed copy of my book, Religious Rebels: Finding Jesus in the Awkward Middle Way by clicking on the button below. Or you can find it on Amazon.
This verse is one of the most harmful overall that I see in my practice because it removes any mindfulness of our emotions and body and places all agency and trust in the hands of an authority figure. Like you said, I believe it’s a both/and of listening to ourselves and seeking wise counsel outside ourselves too.
I suspect that for most of us we can list harm caused by following those in authority when our heart (and probably the Holy Spirit) told us it was wrong much more than harm caused by following our deceitful hearts.