Enjoyed this essay and podcast very much. I came out of the Christian Holiness Movement. I enjoy studying Christian Evangelical Fundamentalism. I am an ex member of the Pilgram Holiness Chruch of New York . Glad my sister and I are out. She is now a Presbyterian. I still talk to her though. 😆
You finally convinced me to start reading Karen's book, which has been in my TBR pile for months! I never felt moved by my (former) fundamental Baptist church's attempts at sentimentality, and always felt somewhat guilty about that. It was something I was willing to tolerate though, until my childhood best friend's suicide. We grew up in church together, and I had so much anger and sadness that I felt like I couldn't share with anyone outside of my own family. I felt horrifically betrayed by my friend's choice, but was supposed to ignore that and just be happy she was in Heaven now. The unhealthy home life that pushed my friend towards that choice was also ignored, because the church leaders didn't want to make her family "uncomfortable" or want to leave the church. I was questioning how a loving God could let this happen, and began doubting His love altogether. Again, there were very few people I could discuss this with, and am thankful for the one church couple who wasn't afraid to hear my honest emotions. I watched people get ostercized for getting tattoos, or reading the wrong translation of the Bible, or asking the wrong questions, but not for emotionally abusing their children. All for the sake of maintaining sentimentality. So I'm glad to see other Christians are wanting to stand up against it, and embrace vulnerability and emotional honesty instead. It's the only way we're going to reach my generation (Gen-Z) and the generations ahead of us.
Thank you!, i am also an ex-evangelical and i remember those days and those teachings about emotions. It is how we respond to the emotions that is important, not in suppressing them because all things that are suppressed will pop out eventually.
Thank you for writing this Christy! Reminds me that we are His image bearers. Our emotions, the positive and negative ones, all bear His image too! As a therapist, I’m glad this information is out there. If anything our emotions can reveal even more of God’s heart and character and lead us into a greater understanding of ourselves.
Preach! This is the message so many need to hear. I love the term "Christianese Platitudes" I posted about this last week (link below), as I hear them all the time as a hospital chaplain and struggled with what to call them. They are so embedded in our cultural lexicon now, beyond just the evangelical or even Christian circles.
Oh man I wish you wrote this ten years ago! It could have saved me a lot of grief. But in all seriousness, thank you, Christy. This is a beautifully written piece and needs to be shared as widely as possible. Well done, and thank you for writing!
P.S. I think Tim Keller has some good sermons somewhere about the lament Psalms, and how they help us to sit with our uncomfortable emotions. I remember that being the first time in my life I had ever heard an evangelical talk about negative emotions in a positive way...
The sentimentality chapter was the chapter that spoke to me the most because I used to write appealing to people’s emotions. I don’t write with that intention anymore. I write what I need to write but not with the intention to make people feel falsely or trying to correct their bad feelings. Not everything has a happy ending but I feel that a lot of people who write to Christian audiences like to wrap things up in a bow.
It’s spoken the most to me so far too. When Karen explained sentimentalism as feeling or getting other people to feel stronger emotions than a situation warranted, I was like “Ohhh!” And a lot of my life made more sense. 😆
Right??? It clicked and made a lot of sense. My head is trying to make a connection. There is something to Christian women writing online about their “negative” emotions yet the the post inevitably ends with a resolution or “positive” emotional outcome. This style is pervasive in writing culture. Like we can’t sit with the “bad” emotions. I told my husband the other day when we were talking about seeking justice for something, “this situation warrants anger, we should feel angry, it’s okay to allow the anger, let’s use it… and not sin.”
Yes, it’s that urge to somehow create a happy ending and make it “good” instead of just accepting that we live in a broken world and sometimes there isn’t one. And we just have to accept that. But it’s hard! And not pretty. 😬
Yes! This is something I've had to work through myself. I, too, internalized that certain emotions were good and others were sinful. I think many of us learned this falsehood as children, and it's hard to overcome emotionally even as we have rejected it logically. I have also heard the obvious falsehood that God does not experience emotions--that one's hard to back up in Scripture, but have heard it proclaimed nonetheless.
These days it's hard for me to comprehend that I used to adhere to the idea that if something it wrong emotionally, it's because something's wrong in my relationship with Jesus. But, I did. I wasn't reading the Bible enough, or wasn't spending enough time in prayer. I'm much healthier now that I allow for honest emotions.
This may seem off topic, but I think it's a related tangent...Your piece here is similar to some things I'm learning and writing about regarding our natural desires and our resulting compulsive behaviors specifically when it comes to our sexuality and porn use. We always labelled sexual desire outside of marriage as sinful lusting. We offered the same answers as we did with the "wrong" emotions. Not reading the Bible enough, not praying enough... But that's not really how it works. Understanding, recognizing, and responding appropriately to the things our bodies are telling us rather than shaming ourselves for normal physical and emotional experiences is counter-productive.
Also, the worship time that used to be meaningful for me is a different experience. Is it the Holy Spirit? Or is it a well-placed cord progression with soothing tones, nostalgic suggestion, and other feel-good stuff to elicit the "proper" emotions? Nothing makes me want to walk out of a church experience like a worship leader who admonishes me to clap as I sing.
I like your thoughts. Great connections! We are whole and complicated humans and need to treat ourselves and others as such if we are ever going to find true healing.
Enjoyed this essay and podcast very much. I came out of the Christian Holiness Movement. I enjoy studying Christian Evangelical Fundamentalism. I am an ex member of the Pilgram Holiness Chruch of New York . Glad my sister and I are out. She is now a Presbyterian. I still talk to her though. 😆
I’m glad you enjoyed it!
You finally convinced me to start reading Karen's book, which has been in my TBR pile for months! I never felt moved by my (former) fundamental Baptist church's attempts at sentimentality, and always felt somewhat guilty about that. It was something I was willing to tolerate though, until my childhood best friend's suicide. We grew up in church together, and I had so much anger and sadness that I felt like I couldn't share with anyone outside of my own family. I felt horrifically betrayed by my friend's choice, but was supposed to ignore that and just be happy she was in Heaven now. The unhealthy home life that pushed my friend towards that choice was also ignored, because the church leaders didn't want to make her family "uncomfortable" or want to leave the church. I was questioning how a loving God could let this happen, and began doubting His love altogether. Again, there were very few people I could discuss this with, and am thankful for the one church couple who wasn't afraid to hear my honest emotions. I watched people get ostercized for getting tattoos, or reading the wrong translation of the Bible, or asking the wrong questions, but not for emotionally abusing their children. All for the sake of maintaining sentimentality. So I'm glad to see other Christians are wanting to stand up against it, and embrace vulnerability and emotional honesty instead. It's the only way we're going to reach my generation (Gen-Z) and the generations ahead of us.
I’m so sorry you’ve experienced this. It’s unfortunately familiar to my own story. I think you will really enjoy Karen’s book!
I also want to add God made us with emotions and their is a reason for that.
Thank you!, i am also an ex-evangelical and i remember those days and those teachings about emotions. It is how we respond to the emotions that is important, not in suppressing them because all things that are suppressed will pop out eventually.
So true!
Thank you for writing this Christy! Reminds me that we are His image bearers. Our emotions, the positive and negative ones, all bear His image too! As a therapist, I’m glad this information is out there. If anything our emotions can reveal even more of God’s heart and character and lead us into a greater understanding of ourselves.
I love the idea of our emotions revealing more of God’s heart and character! Beautiful and true. 😁
Preach! This is the message so many need to hear. I love the term "Christianese Platitudes" I posted about this last week (link below), as I hear them all the time as a hospital chaplain and struggled with what to call them. They are so embedded in our cultural lexicon now, beyond just the evangelical or even Christian circles.
https://journeyingalongside.substack.com/p/god-doesnt-need-another-angel
Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to reading your Substack. 😊
Oh man I wish you wrote this ten years ago! It could have saved me a lot of grief. But in all seriousness, thank you, Christy. This is a beautifully written piece and needs to be shared as widely as possible. Well done, and thank you for writing!
P.S. I think Tim Keller has some good sermons somewhere about the lament Psalms, and how they help us to sit with our uncomfortable emotions. I remember that being the first time in my life I had ever heard an evangelical talk about negative emotions in a positive way...
Learning to lament helped me through some of the most painful seasons of my life. 💔 Thanks for sharing.
P.s. the empire chapter made me grieve and say goodbye to my former flavor of evangelicalism
💔 It’s a strange feeling isn’t it? Kind of bittersweet even as it frees.
The sentimentality chapter was the chapter that spoke to me the most because I used to write appealing to people’s emotions. I don’t write with that intention anymore. I write what I need to write but not with the intention to make people feel falsely or trying to correct their bad feelings. Not everything has a happy ending but I feel that a lot of people who write to Christian audiences like to wrap things up in a bow.
It’s spoken the most to me so far too. When Karen explained sentimentalism as feeling or getting other people to feel stronger emotions than a situation warranted, I was like “Ohhh!” And a lot of my life made more sense. 😆
Right??? It clicked and made a lot of sense. My head is trying to make a connection. There is something to Christian women writing online about their “negative” emotions yet the the post inevitably ends with a resolution or “positive” emotional outcome. This style is pervasive in writing culture. Like we can’t sit with the “bad” emotions. I told my husband the other day when we were talking about seeking justice for something, “this situation warrants anger, we should feel angry, it’s okay to allow the anger, let’s use it… and not sin.”
Yes, it’s that urge to somehow create a happy ending and make it “good” instead of just accepting that we live in a broken world and sometimes there isn’t one. And we just have to accept that. But it’s hard! And not pretty. 😬
Yes! This is something I've had to work through myself. I, too, internalized that certain emotions were good and others were sinful. I think many of us learned this falsehood as children, and it's hard to overcome emotionally even as we have rejected it logically. I have also heard the obvious falsehood that God does not experience emotions--that one's hard to back up in Scripture, but have heard it proclaimed nonetheless.
Thanks for sharing. I’m glad this post resonated with you. 😊
These days it's hard for me to comprehend that I used to adhere to the idea that if something it wrong emotionally, it's because something's wrong in my relationship with Jesus. But, I did. I wasn't reading the Bible enough, or wasn't spending enough time in prayer. I'm much healthier now that I allow for honest emotions.
This may seem off topic, but I think it's a related tangent...Your piece here is similar to some things I'm learning and writing about regarding our natural desires and our resulting compulsive behaviors specifically when it comes to our sexuality and porn use. We always labelled sexual desire outside of marriage as sinful lusting. We offered the same answers as we did with the "wrong" emotions. Not reading the Bible enough, not praying enough... But that's not really how it works. Understanding, recognizing, and responding appropriately to the things our bodies are telling us rather than shaming ourselves for normal physical and emotional experiences is counter-productive.
Also, the worship time that used to be meaningful for me is a different experience. Is it the Holy Spirit? Or is it a well-placed cord progression with soothing tones, nostalgic suggestion, and other feel-good stuff to elicit the "proper" emotions? Nothing makes me want to walk out of a church experience like a worship leader who admonishes me to clap as I sing.
Sorry to digress.
Good stuff here.
I like your thoughts. Great connections! We are whole and complicated humans and need to treat ourselves and others as such if we are ever going to find true healing.
Thank you! This was really interesting! I need to read Karen's book...
It’s an excellent book that makes you suddenly begin to connect dots. 😲