Rethinking Faith: Sacrificing my Isaac, the Best Lies, and Loving Liturgy
This month we will question the Christianese concept of sacrifice, explore some dangerous, almost true lies, and ponder my new love of liturgy.
Rethinking Faith: April 2025
Welcome to the April issue of Rethinking Faith. This month we will question the Christianese concept of “sacrificing our Isaacs,” explore an article about the New Apostolic Reformation and its dangerous, almost-true lies, and ponder my new love of liturgy thanks to the Lectio Divina app. I’m glad you are here!
Is God really asking us to “sacrifice our Isaac?”
It never ceases to amaze me at the way sneaky lies from my time in Gothard’s cult and in churches influenced by him are still twisted into my heart and mind. It’s crazy how these Christianese ideas (that often aren’t even biblical) seem so true. Like burdock burs, they are able to twist in and stick tight.
Last Thursday, I was chatting with my spiritual director during our monthly Zoom call. I mentioned something that has come up as a distant possibility and started sharing how it might impact my writing. I literally told this sweet woman that it felt like God might be asking me to let go of my dreams and plans, to sacrifice them, so that I can be available for something else. It felt spiritual and biblical as I said it, but then she made a couple of observations and asked some questions, and I suddenly wasn’t so sure.
If you’ve been around the evangelical church, then you’ve probably experienced the historical story of Abraham and Isaac getting turned into a moralistic message. Not content to let this story stand alone as something that happened to a person and as a foreshadowing of the death of Jesus Christ, Christians like to moralize it. Pastors remind us that God wants us to put to death the things in our lives that we love. We are warned about idols that might come before God. We hear assurances that God might not actually take our dreams from us, but he wants to test us to make sure we’d be willing to give them up.
What is wrong with this application of the Abraham and Isaac story? I’m still in the questioning and pondering stage, so I don’t have a ton of answers yet. But the fact that this idea of sacrifice was clearly and regularly taught in Gothard’s IBLP and my culty church, makes me hesitate and want to give it a second look.
Back in the cult days, at my homeschool, Gothard church, the godly girls would often sit around and talk about courtship and marriage. We questioned if we’d be willing to marry anyone God told us to, even specific socially awkward, unattractive, slightly strange, young men. It was almost of test of our godliness. How much were we willing to sacrifice to follow God’s will? There was a common theme within IBLP (Gothard’s Institute in Basic Life Principles) of giving up desires, wants, wishes, and even needs to obey an authority. It felt right at the time, but looking back it sounds like grooming. It sounds like teaching from someone who wanted complete control.
A god who takes away something you care deeply about and is pleased by this sacrifice doesn’t sound like the God I know and love. It sounds sadistic and narcissistic. It actually tracks with false teaching and lies from the enemy.
In the biblical account God doesn’t actually take Abraham’s only son. It was a test of his personal faith and a hint towards the sacrifice Jesus would make two thousand years later at the same physical location on Mount Moriah. Why do people so often believe that because something happens to someone in scripture we should dissect the story, moralize it, and make the same things happen to us?
My spiritual director, Nancy, asked me why I thought God would want to take away my writing. I stumbled towards an answer that sounded like he probably wouldn’t want to actually take it away, but maybe test me. She called me out.
“I’m hearing you say two different things. You said it takes up too much time, but also that you have cut back and are hardly doing anything. Are they both true? Be careful not to assume you have to sacrifice as a woman.”
That hit me hard. There are so many layers of lies that I am still quick to believe. So many twisted truths that are still entwined in my heart.
I’m not saying that we should be entitled jerks who put our wants and desires before anyone else in our family. But we also shouldn’t assume the things bringing us life and joy are always something to be sacrificed. I still believe that sometimes we are called by God to lay down or postpone dreams and plans, but not in a religious or sadistic way.
Like I said, I’m still working this whole thing out and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Talk to me about how we moralize Bible stories and application them to death. Tell me what you think about God wanting us to sacrifice our dreams. When you say it out loud it sounds pretty spiritual, but I’m not sure that makes it good or true.
“How difficult the NAR is to pin down is a feature, not a bug. The NAR’s strength is its shown through its demonstrated ability to weave itself into the tapestry of American evangelicalism, even if those under its spell could not recognize it by name.”
~ Elena Cecilia Trueba
I came across this article by
yesterday and as I read it, I realized that she succinctly put the pieces together in a way that everyone needs to read. This is the information we need to know if we are going to do something about what is going on in our nation. This is what we need to understand if we are going to stop the flow of sneaky lies from the New Apostolic Reformation into our churches.
Elena might have declared that Paula White is not in a cult in her title and opening lines, but that’s so she can get people to read the article where she clearly shows that the New Apostolic Reformation (NAR) is cultic and dangerous. She connects names, organizations, ideas, and dominionist ideology. Elena walks through moments in time with various Christian leaders to explain how we got here and why. And she explains why the NAR movement is so attractive.
“The pull of a movement like the New Apostolic Reformation is that it casts every Christian as the main character, the hero in their own spiritual journey. Those who follow these new Reformers are hanging onto a promise that the way in which the church operates will be turned on its head like tables in a marketplace. Who wouldn’t at least be intrigued by the offer to exchange the mundanity of the church coffee hour for a place in the Lord’s army — to be set apart from other Christians, to be special?”
The parallels between the NAR and my own experience in Gothard’s IBLP cult are startling. The challenge is that Gothard was at least somewhat organized and obvious while the NAR is subtle and sneaky. As Elena says, it influences people and churches who wouldn’t even recognize the name. Here is a quick list of some parallels.
They both offer an opportunity for people to be set apart and special.
Both groups claim to get or have secret wisdom and hidden understanding.
They both use familiar Christian words but have changed the definitions.
Both groups spiritualize everything.
Taking over the world is a theme in both groups.
They both offer formulas to follow in order to get security.
Both groups are obsessed with angels, demons, and spiritual warfare.
Authority is a major theme in both groups.
Followers of both will tell you they are not in a cult and will argue against any criticism or questions.
This list isn’t just a strange coincidence, each point is a major red flag of a cult. Every time I write anything about the NAR or people/churches that are affiliated with the NAR, I have people who want to argue with me. But I also meet people who have been burned by something NAR affiliated or have family or friends who have been sucked in by an NAR church or organization.
“The NAR is not a denomination—meaning a church cannot exactly join its ranks and the precise number of participants is a slippery thing—but the amount of Christians under the influence of the NAR through their churches and small groups and Bible studies and retreats and conferences ranges from 3 to 33 million.”
This is a startling number of people.
If you are ready for more information about the New Apostolic Reformation, I have resources for you. Holly Pivec and R. Douglas Geivett have written a number of books on the NAR including, Counterfeit Kingdom and God’s Super Apostles (quoted in Elena’s article). I’ve talked about the NAR multiple times over the years and some of those articles and podcasts are liked below.
Articles:
Rethinking Faith: Red Flags, Othering, and Sketchy Worship Songs
Rethink: Seven Mountain Mandate, Strange Religion, and Open Doors
Rethink: Culture Differences, False Prophets, and Simplicity
Podcasts:
#15 Christian Nationalism, Morality, and the End Times (S1E15)
#151 When My Cult Sense Goes Off (S8E10)
This is something that we cannot afford to ignore. We must become aware of the lies, strategies, and twisted truths that are infiltrating our churches and our faith. As a cult survivor, I know the impact and reach of false teachings.
The Value and Beauty of Liturgy
“As I enter prayer now, I pause to be still; to breathe slowly, to re-center my scattered senses upon the presence of God.”
This prayer greets me every morning in my Lectio 365 app. After three months of using Lectio 365, I have the prayer memorized. I can close my eyes, whisper the words, and feel their impact as I remember that God is with me. Another familiar prayer wraps up the daily reading.
“Father, help me to live this day to the full, being true to you in every way. Jesus, help me to give myself away to others, being kind to everyone I meet. Spirit, help me to love the lost, proclaiming Christ in all I do and say, Amen.”
I’ve never been a part of a church where liturgy was regularly used in worship. I always felt that repetition made things boring and meaningless. I’m not sure where I got that idea, but it was probably from an evangelical who looked down on mainstream churches. These days I strongly disagree with my former self and her opinions. Liturgy is comforting and familiar. It grounds me and reminds me of truth.
I mentioned the Lectio 365 app when I first started using it a few months ago, but I want to celebrate it again today. I needed something new because I was struggling to want to be in scripture. I was bored of my devotions, or quiet time, or whatever you want to call it. I was feeling guilty and frustrated.
After three months in Lectio 365, I have a new love for scripture. I especially appreciate how the app combines passages from around the Bible. As I mentioned, I’ve found a comfort in the familiar liturgy. The emphasis on the Spirit has been life giving and I love the way I’m encouraged to use my imagination. It is a manageable time commitment and I look forward to incorporating the midday and evening readings as well (as soon as I can build some new habits). I’m getting nothing from promoting the Lectio 365 app, but it’s something that I think many of you would appreciate if you don’t already use it!
As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts, questions, or comments. You can find me on Threads, Instagram, Facebook, in the Substack app, and on my website. I’d love to connect with you on any of these places!
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I think you're right about the source of the idea that God wants us to give up anything and everything that brings us joy. That concept was, in my opinion, one of the works of the Evil One that Jesus came to destroy (1 John 3:8). Instead, Jesus replaced the ascetic ideas of Religion with the much better concept that He had come to bring Life, in all its fulness. As Paul went on to say, the Kingdom of God is righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:7).
One of the first things that Religion tries to do is to take away anything that even approaches joy and happiness. It does this in several ways. Firstly, many very sad Religious types assume that if you're happy, then there must be 'sin' involved somewhere. They see how Job made sacrifices for his kids in case they 'sinned' at one of their parties, and assume that the same principle holds for all kinds of happiness. Secondly, they extend this principle to banning anything that makes people feel good - dancing, music, alcohol; in short, anything where they project their own inability to maintain 'self-control' onto those purportedly in their care. They make what should be a fruit - self-control - into a task.
Conversely, and ironically, they also ascribe suffering to 'sin' too. Just like Job's friends, they accuse the suffering believer of having 'sinned' and thereby incurred the wrath of God.
To me, this no-win situation - damned if you do, damned if you don't - is typical of religion and all its strictures and rules, and this is why Jesus came to destroy all the works of the Evil One.
My final point is this: This blog and the rest of your work? They are your calling. I'm sure you feel they are your calling, at any rate, even though it isn't my place to tell you! And God's calling and gifting are irrevocable (Romans 11:29). It doesn't mean that you have to do this work forever, but while you are doing the work, this is God's calling and He does not withdraw the anointing; in fact it has been my experience that even if I did finish a season of doing God's thing, the anointing remained. Do not let the enemy try to rob you of your calling; remember the only way he can do this is if you actually decide yourself to give it up. And you can be sure that if God does want you to cease in this particular field, then He will tell you in no uncertain terms, and certainly not by using the hurts and damaging doctrine (like the Isaac doctrine) from your traumatised past. The trauma serves its purpose in building you up, as it has done over the last decade or so, but it will not be used in order to tear you down again.
Hope this helps <3
In spite of the way Gothard shifted the emphasis in the Abraham story to "how much are YOU willing to sacrifice?" rather than "how much am I willing to sacrifice?" I think it's beyond doubt from the text that God requires that we love Him above all else. Sure, Gothard twisted this 'round and 'round, but putting God foremost is a key element of the account.
The very fact that Gothard's alcolytes immediately housed this in a "who will I marry" context shows their abandonment of the full counsel of the Scripture, for we are to live only in the present day and leave the future troubles to the future. Gothard taught a white, middle-class version of Christianity, a weird version of the culture in which he grew up. But, as Paul writes, the Christian women who love God foremost choose not to marry. More of Gothard's pick-and-choose style of manipulating Scripture.
In regard to Gothard's weird theology of instant revelations from God, Abraham, even after all his experiences with God, still sent out a servant to find a wife for Isaac, and there had to be all the stages of observation, gifts, and approval: no magical "word from the Lord" that resolved it in an instant. So all the nonsense of Gothard has to be set aside and purged from the way we understand the text.
But I think a reading of the text on its face makes it clear that it is about loving God above all else. Of course, this is why God set the task before Abraham and not anybody else. Learning to love God foremost usually takes a lifetime. Abraham was remarkable. And in a lot of families, living with a teenage boy IS the ultimate, daily sacrifice to God, requiring the virtues of patience, kindness, wisdom, etc....