Walking away from everything but Jesus
Over the past few years a number of well-known people have publicly left the Christian faith. Deconstruction has become a controversial buzzword. And the ugly truth about certain celebrity (as well as not-so celebrity) Christian leaders continues to be exposed.
Many of us have been left wounded, scarred, and nearly destroyed by religious trauma and spiritual abuse from a place we thought was safe. We are rethinking everything. We feel cynical and numb. Where do we go from here?
People often ask me why I am still a Christian after coming out of my cult. It’s a good question, and one I have been rethinking yet again over the last couple of days.
Honestly, the decade I spent in my fundamental, legalistic version of Christianity isn’t the only time I have been hurt by Christians. I have a very clear and more recent memory of falling off of my bed, sobbing, wanting to die, and wondering if anything I believed was even real. I know what it is to be wounded by religion and religious people.
But here I am championing our search for the Real God while holding on to historical Christian beliefs. Why? The short answer is that I’ve met Jesus. And despite walking away from religions traditions and former beliefs about behaviors, I can’t walk away from Him. I don’t want to leave Him. I know that He is real, and good, and true.
But I am also not afraid of the struggle, doubt, and questions many of us are facing. And I embrace the deconstruction movement as something that God is doing within His body.
The value of losing our faith
I believe there is great value in losing our faith. In realizing that we don’t know everything. In living in the mystery of unanswered questions. It’s not something we should be afraid of; it’s something to welcome.
Too often religious Christianity delights in straight answers, cut and dry theology, and blind faith. There isn’t room for doubt or questions. And that’s not okay. God is definitely big enough to handle our doubt, confusion, and questions. They do not scare Him. I think He loves them!
Here’s the truth. There is much in our modern Evangelical Christianity that is just tradition and religion. We get so caught up in doing Christianity that we forget it’s about knowing and being. God gets neatly packaged in a pretty box, and we forget that He is not tame or containable. Our god becomes more of a concept than a Real and Powerful Being.
I think we often need to lose our faith. Because too often our faith is not actually in the real God. Our faith is in the Christian religion we were taught and the fake god we think we understand.
Finding the Real God
What if becoming disillusioned with our faith—feeling like we are losing it—is the first step to finding the Real God for ourselves? Because He is real. I’m certain of that. He just might not be who we thought He was. And that’s okay.
The real God will never fit in the tiny boxes we make for Him. He is way too complex, enormous, and seemingly insane. I love that about Him!! We will never understand Him. There will always be more of Him to experience and explore.
And God wants to be found. Even in the darkest seasons of history, He has always been available to those who seek Him. The Real God does not change.
Why I’m still a Christian
There was a historical person named Jesus of Nazareth. Even non-Christian historian agree on that. He was a simple yet controversial rabbi. He was crucified. These are historical facts.
For over two-thousand years people have claimed to be changed by their belief in this Jesus. They claim to have experienced His Spirit’s power. They’ve been willing to die for their beliefs.
There are core creeds about Jesus, God the Father, the Holy Spirit, and the Scriptures that have been passed down despite corruption, reformation, power struggles, revolution, and other cyclical issues in the church. These creeds have stood the test of time and are the core beliefs of Christianity today. They unite us together as followers of Jesus of Nazareth despite our differences in denominations.
My faith is built on these foundational pieces, but it holds because of the mysterious Presence I’ve met Who has changed my life. This Being who I cannot explain has been there every step of my journey: guiding, pulling, supporting, whispering, prodding, hinting, and helping me.
I’m still a Christian because I believe in the reality of Jesus Christ, His Spirit, His death and resurrection, and His ability to reconnect me to my Creator God. That’s my simple answer.
So friends, why are you still a Christian? It’s a good question to ask and an even better one to answer. :-) I can’t wait to hear.
Christy, you wrote,"My faith is built on these foundational pieces, but it holds because of the mysterious Presence I’ve met Who has changed my life. This Being who I cannot explain has been there every step of my journey: guiding, pulling, supporting, whispering, prodding, hinting, and helping me. I’m still a Christian because I believe in the reality of Jesus Christ, His Spirit, His death and resurrection, and His ability to reconnect me to my Creator God. That’s my simple answer. "
Mine too.
The Mysterious Presence is key. Karl Rahner wrote that the Christian of the future will be a mystic or nothing at all. Head knowledge will not suffice any more, if it ever did.
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