Why I Am Still a Christian
And the value of losing your faith.
These thoughts were originally shared as a blog post two years ago, but they resonated with me and I wanted to share them again with some tweaks.
Walking Away from Everything but Jesus
Over the past few years a number of well-known people have publicly left the Christian faith. The ugly truth about certain celebrity—and not as celebrity—Christian leaders continues to be exposed. Deconstruction has become a buzzword that creates passionate feelings but often in opposite directions.
Many of us have been left wounded, scarred, and nearly destroyed by religious trauma and spiritual abuse from people or a place we thought was safe. We are rethinking everything. We feel cynical and numb. Where do we go from here?
People often ask me why I am still a Christian after coming out of my Christian cult. It’s a good question, and one I have been rethinking yet again over the last couple of days.
Honestly, the decade I spent in my fundamental, legalistic version of Christianity isn’t the only time I have been hurt by Christians. I have a very clear and more recent memory of falling off of my bed, sobbing, wanting to die, and wondering if anything I believed was even real. I know what it is to be wounded by religion and religious people. I shared that story in more detail earlier this year.
And yet here I am advocating for a search for the Real God while holding to historical Christian beliefs. Why?
The short answer is that I’ve met Jesus. And despite walking away from religions traditions and former beliefs about behaviors, I can’t walk away from Him. I don’t want to leave Him. I know that He is real, and good, and true.
But I am also not afraid of the struggle, doubt, and questions many of us are facing. And I embrace the deconstruction movement as something that God is doing within His body.
The Value of Losing Our Faith
I believe there is great value in losing our faith. In realizing that we don’t know everything. In living in the mystery of unanswered questions. It’s not something we should be afraid of; it’s something to embrace.
Too often religious Christianity delights in straight answers, cut and dry theology, and blind faith. There isn’t room for doubt or questions. And that’s not okay. God is definitely big enough to handle our doubt, confusion, and questions. They do not scare Him. I think He loves them!
I wrote this in my book Religious Rebels:
“The truth is that it’s okay to be broken. It’s okay to have questions and doubts. It’s okay to reevaluate your faith. It’s a good thing. In the last year I have had multiple friends come to me with some scarily honest confessions. They admitted things like I’m not even sure what I believe these days. I think I’m losing faith. I don’t even like going to church. I don’t know how to be a Christian anymore. While these can be frightening realizations to come to, I’ve also come to find them exciting.
I believe there is great value in losing our faith. There is significance in realizing that we don’t know everything. There is beauty in the mystery of unanswered questions. Rather than something we should be afraid of, I think it’s something to welcome. Too often religious Christianity delights in straight answers, cut-and-dried theology, and blind faith. There isn’t room for doubt or questions—that’s not healthy.”Christy Lynne Wood, Religious Rebels: Finding Jesus in the Awkward Middle Way
Here’s the truth. There is much in our modern Evangelical Christianity that is just tradition and religion. We get so caught up in doing Christianity that we forget it’s about knowing and being. God gets neatly packaged in a pretty box, and we forget that He is not tame or containable. Our god becomes more of a concept than a Real and Powerful Being.
I think we need to lose our faith. Because too often our faith is not actually in the real God. Our faith is in the Christian religion we were taught and the fake god we think we understand.
Finding the Real God
What if becoming disillusioned with our faith—feeling like we are losing it—is the first step to finding the Real God for ourselves? Because He is real. I’m certain of that. He just might not be who we thought He was. And that’s okay.
The real God will never fit in the tiny boxes we make for Him. He is way too complex, enormous, and seemingly insane. I love that about Him! We will never understand Him. There will always be more of Him to experience and explore.
And God wants to be found. Even in the darkest seasons of history, He has always been available to those who seek Him. The Real God does not change.
Why I’m Still a Christian
There was a historical person named Jesus of Nazareth. Even non-Christian historian agree on that. He was a simple yet controversial rabbi. He was crucified. These are historical facts.
For over two-thousand years people have claimed to be changed by their belief in this Jesus. They claim to have experienced His Spirit’s power. They’ve been willing to die for their beliefs.
There are core creeds about Jesus, God the Father, the Holy Spirit, and the Scriptures that have been passed down despite corruption, reformation, power struggles, revolution, and other cyclical issues in the church. These beliefs have stood the test of time and are the core foundations of historical Christianity today. They unite us together as followers of Jesus of Nazareth despite our differences in denominations.
My faith is built on these foundational pieces, but it holds because of the mysterious Presence I’ve met who has changed my life. This Being who I cannot explain has been there every step of my journey: guiding, pulling, supporting, whispering, prodding, hinting, and helping me.
I’m still a Christian because I believe in the reality of Jesus Christ, His Spirit, His death and resurrection, and His ability to reconnect me to my Creator God. That’s my simple answer.
If you are still a Christian, will you share why? It’s a good question to ask and an even better one to answer. I look forward to hearing your stories.
As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts, questions, or comments. You can find me on Threads, Instagram, Facebook, my website, and on my podcast Looking for the Real God. I’d love to connect with you on any of these places!
You can order an autographed copy of my book, Religious Rebels: Finding Jesus in the Awkward Middle Way by clicking on the button below. Or you can find it on Amazon.
I have worked for 3 different churches, and yeah, apparently I'm a slow learner. All 3 were controlling and the last one nearly destroyed me. But as you said, once you've met Jesus there is nowhere else to go. All the legalism, control, abuse, and lack of love all fade away when you choose to live in His presence. It has not been easy, but He is so worth knowing and believing and loving.
"Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life." - John 6:68
I went through every type of abuse while being raised in a fundamentalist Christian family and community. I am asked often how I can stay with Christianity after all I have been through.
I stay because He was and is real. He was at the bottom of every dark pit I was thrown into. He has pursued me and loved me when I was chased out of all my spaces. And while I no longer attend organized services—and see no possibility of doing so in the future—I have found His Church outside the walls, alive and real, and I am finding what it means to be the church instead of just attending one.
But I’m with you. It was always Him, chasing me, loving me, wrapping me up when literally everyone else threw me away.